The Choices We Make
by Spirit of a Rose
Summary: "It is the choices we make...far more than our abilities, that truly defines us." What if Severus ran after Lily in that fateful moment? Lily/Severus. Later OC main character.
1. Chapter 1: Beginnings

Prologue

Life is made up of choices.

Not all choices are life-changing. Most are small. Simple. Some last no longer than a moment. Some do change lives. And some...some choices change entire destinies.

This is a choice that changed everything.

I. Beginnings

Severus hears them all the way from his house. Shrieks of laughter, echoing off the pitted pavement and the faded whitewashed walls. He looks around. No one is watching. Da is a muffled heap on the battered couch, snoring, the empty bottle still gripped in one hand. Mum's at work. She's always at work now. No one will notice if he's gone.

He follows the shrieks. The street is almost empty. An old woman with a cat on her lap gives him a strange look. He hurries on, painfully conscious of his too-short jeans, his bare feet and the shabby coat that's far too big and flaps loosely around his skinny frame.

The shrieks grow louder. He skids to a stop and ducks behind a cluster of bushes. Two girls his age are swinging on the old rusty playground. The one closest to him is almost as skinny as him, her eyes wide and fearful in her small face as she watches her sister kick her legs out and swing higher. "Lily, don't do it!" she shrieks, but the other girl only laughs and lets go of the swing. He catches his breath, but instead of falling the girl seems to fly, soaring lightly through the air to land gracefully on her toes. Her older sister makes a face. "Mummy told you not to!" She pushes herself off the swing and props her hands on her hips. "Mummy said you weren't allowed, Lily!"

Lily reluctantly settles back down onto the ground. "But I'm fine," she says, still giggling. "'Tuney, look at this. Watch what I can do."

Petunia glances around, frowning, and cautiously follows her. Lily walks over to the clump of bushes. He crouches lower, holding his breath as her green eyes flick over him without recognition and stoops to pick up a fallen flower. "Watch this," she says, grinning. Petunia comes closer, torn between disapproval and curiosity. Lily uncurls her fingers. The wilted blossom sits in the middle of her palm, opening and closing its petals like an eerie, many-lipped oyster. Petunia stumbles back. "Stop it!" she cries.

"It's not hurting you," Lily says, frowning, but she folds her fingers back over the flower and lets it fall back to the ground.

"It's not right," Petunia says stubbornly, but her gaze lingers on the flower when Lily looks away, longing in her small face. "How do you do it?" she adds curiously.

"Isn't it obvious?" he bursts out, scrambling to his feet. Petunia shrieks and retreats behind the swings. Lily stares at him, startled. He flushes, suddenly realizing what he's done, and fervently wishes he could duck back down in the bushes, but Lily is looking at him with a mixture of suspicious and curiosity. "What's obvious?"

He shifts nervously from foot to foot, glancing at Petunia, but she's still hovering by the swings a few yards away, and Lily is still looking at him with those suspicious green eyes. "I know what you are," he says, keeping his voice low so only she can hear.

She folds her arms. "What do you mean?"

"You're...you're a witch," he whispers, torn between nervousness and hopefulness. Lily looks insulted. "That's not a very nice thing to say to somebody," she says indignantly, and turns and marches over to join her sister.

"No!" he says, flushing even deeper, but he runs after her, his bat-like coat flapping behind him. The two girls stare back at him in identical disapproval, clutching one of the rusting swing poles as though it's the safe spot in a game of tag. He ignores Petunia, his black gaze focused on Lily. "You are," he insists. "You are a witch. I've been watching you for a while," he stammers out. "But there's nothing wrong with that. My mum's one, and I'm a wizard."

Lily's eyes widen, but Petunia laughs suddenly. "Wizard?" she says scornfully. "I know who you are. You're that Snape boy! They live down Spinner's End by the river," she tells Lily contemptuously, and whirls back on him. "Why have you been spying on us?"

"I haven't been spying," he says, not entirely truthfully, and tugs uncomfortably on his too-big coat. It's a warm day and he's sweating, but the other kids have teased him about his smock-like shirt, the one mum made for him because she couldn't buy one, and Petunia's scornful gaze is on his coat. He keeps it on. "Wouldn't spy on _you_ , anyway," he adds spitefully. "You're a Muggle."

Petunia doesn't understand the word, but she can hardly mistake the insult. "Lily, come on, we're leaving!" she says shrilly, and turns and marches off. Lily obeys, glaring at him as she runs after her sister.

He watches them go, scowling, and kicks the dirt, bitter disappointment welling up inside of him. His shoulders sag. He turns and slowly walks back down the street.

She comes back the next day.

"Pst!"

His parents are fighting again. He listens to the sound of Da yelling and Mum yelling back, huddled by the side of the house with his back against the wall. Da is cursing again, words the older boys at the dock throw around when they're drunk. Mum is shouting at him. Da took the money again. He came home with his face all flushed and his breath smelling funny again.

The ugly sound of a slap echoes off the white-washed walls. Da always hits him and Mum when he's like this. Severus hugs his legs tighter and presses his hands over his ears. He can still hear them.

"Pssst!"

He starts and looks around. A familiar red head appears around the corner of the neighbor's house. Severus stares. Lily flushes and gestures impatiently for him to come over. He blinks, then stumbles to his feet and hurries over. For a moment he thinks he's dreaming, then she grabs his arm and yanks him into the closest clump of bushes and he yelps.

"Shh!" Lily says. He stares at her, disbelieving. "Why're you here?" he stammers.

Lily flushes deeper. "I needed to talk to you," she whispers. "But 'Tuney didn't want to, so I snuck out." She hesitates. "Were you telling the truth? About me being a -a witch?"

He looks at her. Her green eyes are serious, her face alight with excitement. "Yeah," he says. Lily hugs her knees to her chest. "Prove it," she says fiercely. "Prove you're not lying."

"How?"

"I dunno. Do magic. You're a witch too, right?"

"Wizard," he corrects, but now he's excited, too. "Watch this." He breaks a twig off the bush and holds it out to her, frowning in concentration. The twig slowly crumbles, green leaves withering into dust. Lily's eyes widen. "Wow," she breathes. "Can you do other stuff, too?"

He shifts. "Some. You need a wand to do real magic, though." His black eyes flick back up to hers. "You already knew, right?" he asks eagerly. "That you're not like the rest of them. You can do stuff they can't."

Lily is still staring at the crumbling twig. "Yeah," she says softly. Her small chin lifts. "I can lots of stuff," she informs him. "I can make our dog do stuff and make things move and hide my vegetables so my Mum doesn't know I didn't eat them. If I had a wand, could I do more?"

"Of course," he says. "My mum has a wand, and she can do lots of stuff."

"So there are others like me? Can 'Tuney do magic, too?" Lily says hopefully.

He shakes his head. "No. Only some people have magic. Most get it from their parents, like me. But some people are born with it. Like you. The ones that don't have magic are Muggles, like your sister."

"Oh." Lily's forehead wrinkles. "Okay." She tilts her head to one side. "Hey, do your parents always yell at each other?"

He flushes dully. "Sometimes. Usually just when Da's drunk, though."

"Oh." Lily looks at him solemnly. "My name's Lily," she announces. "What's yours?"

"Severus."

"Server- Sever-" She makes a face. "How do you say it?"

He grins crookedly. "Severus. Seh-ver-us."

"Severus. That's a funny name."

Now it's his turn to make a face. "It's the name of a famous wizard from way back. My mum likes to tell me stories about him."

"Really?" Lily's eyes shine. "There are famous wizards? Like Merlin from the stories about king Arthur?"

"Yeah," he says, getting caught up in her enthusiasm. "I can tell you about them. I know lots of stuff about magic," he adds importantly.

"I want to know," Lily says eagerly. "I want to know _everything_."

He grins. "I'll tell you," he promises. "All of it."

She comes to see him a lot after that. They meet in his hiding spot, the place by the river he goes to when Mum's at work and Da's drunk. The trees grow close together, forming a small thicket, just big enough for the two of them. He sits across from her, acutely aware of her bare toes brushing his. Lily's small chin is propped on her knees, her green eyes shining in the half-gloom. It's still too warm for a coat. His lays discarded on a clump of roots, but Lily either doesn't notice his dirty, smock-like shirt or care. He keeps talking. "And the Ministry can punish you if you do magic outside school, you get letters."

"But I've done magic outside school!" she protests. He waves it aside. "We're all right. We haven't got wands yet. They let you off when you're a kid and you can't help it. But once you're eleven" -he pauses for effect- "and they start training you, then you've got to be careful."

Lily's green eyes are wide. Wordlessly she picks up a fallen twig and twirls it, and he can see the light in her face as she imagines sparks trailing from the tip. Then her expression dims, and she drops the twig and scoots closer to him. "It is real, isn't it?" she asks earnestly. "It's not a joke? Petunia says you're lying to me. Petunia says there isn't a Hogwarts. It is real, isn't it?"

"It's real for us," he says. "Not for her. But we'll get the letter, you and me."

"Really?" Lily whispers.

"Definitely," he says, and he sees the hope bloom on her face again. "And will it really come by owl?" she asks, her voice still hushed.

"Normally," he says. "But you're Muggle-born, so someone from the school will have to come and explain to your parents. I asked Mum about it."

Lily nods. "Does it make a difference, being Muggle-born?" she asks curiously.

Severus hesitates. His gaze flicks over her small face, pale in the shadows, the dark red hair and bright green eyes looking back at him.

"No," he says. "It doesn't make any difference."

Lily relaxes. "Good," she says, evidently relieved.

"You've got loads of magic," he says hastily, trying to reassure her. "I saw that. All the time I was watching you..." His voice trails away. She's not listening anymore, lying back on the dead leaves and looking up at the glimmer of sunlight peeking through the branches overhead. The light catches on her hair, turning it to flame, and he soaks in the sight of her.

"How are things at your house?" she says abruptly.

He tenses, dropping his gaze. "Fine."

"They're not arguing anymore?"

"Oh, yes, they're arguing," he says shortly. He picks up a handful of leaves and methodically begins to shred them. "But it won't be that long until I'll be gone."

Lily is watching him with a strange expression in her eyes. Pity. He doesn't like it. "Doesn't your dad like magic?"

The corners of his mouth twist sharply. "He doesn't like anything, much."

"Severus?"

The bitter smile vanishes. He wishes she would say his name again. "Yeah?"

"Tell me about the dementors again."

"What d'you want to know about them for?"

"If I use magic outside school-"

"They wouldn't give you to the dementors for that! Dementors are for people who do really bad stuff. They guard the wizard prison, Azkaban. You're not going to end up in Azkaban, you're too-" he stops and goes back to shredding leaves, his face red. Lily tilts her head to one side, puzzled, but then a branch rustles behind him and Petunia tumbles out of the trees with a yelp.

"'Tuney!" exclaims Lily, surprised, but Severus leaps to his feet, startled and angry. "Who's spying now?" he shouts. "What d'you want?"

Petunia flinches, breathless and flushed at being caught. Her eyes narrow. "What is that you're wearing, anyway?" she retorts, seizing onto the first thing she sees, and points at him. "Your mum's blouse?"

His fingers curl into fists. A crack echoes through the air as a branch snaps off overhead and hits Petunia squarely on the shoulder. She staggers back with a cry and bursts into tears, clutching her shoulder. Lily starts forward. "'Tuney!" she says anxiously, but Petunia is already fleeing. Lily whirls on him. "Did you make that happen?"

"No!" he says defiantly, but a part of him is afraid of the look on her face.

"You did!" she says accusingly, and starts to back away. "You did! You hurt her!"

"No-" he says desperately, ignoring the lie. "No, I didn't!"

Lily is still looking at him, angry and hurt. With one final burning glance, she turns and runs off after her sister. He takes a step after her and stops, angry and miserable and confused.

"She'll come back," he whispers half-heartedly to the empty clearing, but the words sound hollow.


	2. Chapter 2: Forgiveness

II. Forgiveness

It's the first time she doesn't come back. He can hear her mother's voice fussing over Petunia, the older girl speaking rapidly, accusing that ugly nasty boy who lives down at Spinner's End, and Lily saying nothing at all.

The pebble clacks against her window. He waits nervously in the shadows, torn between anxiety and impatience. Finally the window slides open and Lily's face appears between the dark blue curtains. "I don't want to talk to you," she says curtly. "Go away."

"Wait!" He bites his lip. "Wait, please."

Her expression is unreadable in the faint glow of the streetlights, but she keeps the window open. "'Tuney's okay," she says after a moment of silence ticks by. "She told mum about me sneaking out to see you. I'm not allowed to anymore."

"But-" he starts, but she cuts him off. "You could've really hurt 'Tuney, you know. Mum was really mad. She said her shoulder will be alright, though."

He stares down at the shadowed pavement. "I'm sorry."

He feels her gaze on him in the darkness. She stares down at him for a long time, then sighs. "I know," she says matter-of-factly. "I told 'Tuney it was an accident, but she didn't believe me."

He looks back up, startled. Hope kindles to life in his chest. "You'll still come?"

"Of course," she says. "But you have to promise you'll be more careful."

"I will, I promise-"

"And," she says sternly, "don't ever hurt my sister again. I know she doesn't fancy you very much, but she's very nice, really, once you get to know her."

He doesn't believe it, but he's too happy to care. "Will you meet me again tomorrow?"

Lily shakes her head. "I told you, Mum doesn't like it. I'll sneak out in a couple of days."

"Oh," he says, crestfallen. Lily bites her lip and glances around. "One minute," she says, and vanishes. The window clicks shut. He waits impatiently, confused. Then the front door eases open, and Lily reappears.

"Everyone's asleep," she whispers. "And I know where Dad hangs the key to the lock. I can't be long, though. And if 'Tuney wakes up and sees I'm gone-"

He's still staring at her, half-disbelieving his luck. Lily frowns. "Well, come on, then," she whispers impatiently. "We can't just stand out here all night!" Impulsively she grabs his arm and pulls him after her. He follows, stumbling, a grin slowly spreading across his face.


	3. Chapter 3: Waiting

III. Waiting

He's eleven now, too big for the tiny clearing, but he doesn't care. Lily is curled up next to him, her long legs pressed casually against his, half-asleep even in this chilly weather. The sun flickers ghostly light through the branches of the trees, turning her scarlet hair to flame. "Hey, Severus," she says sleepily.

He drags his eyes away from her hair. "Yeah?"

"When will the person from Hogwarts come to talk to my parents?"

"I told you, on your birthday. It's just a couple of days."

"How do they know when my birthday is? You said they only keep track of wizards and witches like your mom. What if they forget? What if they don't know I have magic?"

"They know," he says exasperatedly. She's been worrying about this like a dog with a bone ever since he got his letter earlier this month. "Your birthday's only in three days. And if someone doesn't come, then we can write to them and tell them."

She nibbles on her lower lip, not entirely convinced. He sighs. "Come on," he says, getting to his feet. "Don't bother about it so much. Let's go to the park."

"Easy for _you_ to say," she mutters rebelliously. " _You_ already got your letter."

"On my birthday," he points out. "Not three days before." He pulls her to her feet. "Come on," he says again. "They won't forget, I swear. I won't let them."

"Promise?" she says. He looks into those big, trusting green eyes. Why does she always trust him so much? It's strange and intoxicating at the same time. "I promise," he says, and tugs on her hand. "Now come on!"

Her hand tightens on his, then she breaks away. "Race you to the park!" she yells back over her shoulder. Severus breaks into a run.

They celebrate her birthday the day before, in their hiding spot. Lily takes a deep breath and blows out the tiny candle on the cupcake.

"What did you wish for?" he asks curiously. She shrugs, her green eyes mischievous. "I can't tell you," she says. "If I tell you, it won't come true."

"That's not real magic," he says. "It's just a Muggle superstition."

Lily just grins. "I'll tell you if it comes true," she says, and carefully breaks the cupcake in half. "Here."

He nibbles on his half, watching her through his dark bangs. She's savoring each bite with her usual relish, but her expression is distracted. He can tell what she's thinking. "They'll come tomorrow," he says.

She pulls her legs up to her chest and hugs them loosely. "Yeah," she says softly. They lapse back into silence for a while.

"I wonder what mum and dad will say," Lily says abruptly. Severus lets one shoulder fall in a shrug. "They're Mu-" he starts to say, and hastily changes it. "They'll understand. Whoever comes will be really good at explaining."

Lily doesn't seem to notice. "Yeah," she says again, and rests her chin on her knees. "I hope 'Tuney understands."

Severus stays silent. He doubts it, but he doesn't want to tell her that. He doesn't want her to think of her sister right now. He nudges her. "Hey, when the person from the school comes, don't forget to act surprised."

Lily makes a face. "I don't get why I have to pretend I don't know about magic."

"I told you, there are rules. Muggles can't know about magic."

"But _I_ know about magic. You told me."

"Yeah, but you're" -he hesitates a split second- "you're not one of them. You're like me."

Lily heaves an exaggerated sigh. "Fine. I'll pretend. It'll be hard, though."

"You can do it." He gets to his feet. "C'mon, we better go back before they notice you're missing. I'll walk you to the corner."

She stands reluctantly, dragging her feet as she follows him out of the thicket. "Hey, Sev?" she says as they reach the corner of the street leading to her house. He glances back. "What?"

She hugs him abruptly, wrapping thin arms around his chest and squeezing before letting go quickly. "Thank you," she says. "For telling me." She runs off towards his house without waiting for a reply.

Severus blinks, startled. For a brief moment he can still feel her small body pressed against his. Too late, he looks after her. Lily's gone. He can hear her cheerful voice greeting her mother as she closes the door behind her. He rubs his arms wistfully and lingers a few more minutes at the corner before finally heading home.

 **A/N**

I think this is the fastest I've ever updated...thanks for all the reviews and follows! I write these for you guys (:


	4. Chapter 4: The Visitor

The messenger comes at lunch.

Laughter and chatter echoes off the brick walls. The small grassy lawn is crowded with children as parents look on absently. Lily is conspicuous in the middle of it all, the sun turning her hair to liquid flame as she chases a boy, shrieking with laughter.

Severus scoots a little farther out of his hiding spot. The gnarled old oak stands in the corner of the small park, almost directly across from her street. The thick branches are bare and dark with cold right now, but no one's looking at the small dark shadow huddled against the trunk. He shifts into a more comfortable position and rests his chin on his knees, watching. Lily is still laughing. The boy tags Petunia, and the other children scatter, shrieking, as she chases after them.

Lily runs apart from the rest, to the very edge of the lawn. She shades her eyes against the icy sunlight and squints in his direction. Her face brightens. She lifts a hand in the tiniest hint of a wave. He grins in spite of himself. _Go!_ He mouths at her, afraid of being seen. She just grins and runs off. He watches her dance away from Petunia's grasping hand with a yelp and smiles to himself.

The party ends after lunch. The guests trickle away one by one. The boy Lily was chasing lingers a little longer than necessary, to his displeasure, but Lily barely gives him a second glance. Then it's just her family tidying up the lawn, and Lily is looking at his hiding spot again with wide green eyes and bouncing with excitement. She's still so much like that seven-year-old he first met, and the memory makes him smile.

He almost misses the tall young woman who walks directly beneath him. He stiffens and looks down into piercing grey-green eyes. The woman regards him gravely for a split second, then glides on. He stares at her. She's tall, with dark hair pinned severely back at the nape of her neck and wearing a grey business suit, but what catches his attention is the slender dark wand tucked discreetly in her back pocket.

"Excuse me," she says politely to Lily's parents, loudly enough for them to look up, then lowers her voice. Lily's parents exchange startled looks before escorting her inside. The stranger pauses and looks directly at Lily. He can read her lips as she says, "Hello."

Lily meets her searching gaze squarely, green eyes to grey-green. Her hopeful expression turns serious. She lifts her small chin and follows the woman inside. She hesitates once in the doorway and glances back. He only sees a glimpse of the jubilance on her face before she vanishes inside and the door clicks shut behind her.

They spend an excruciatingly long time inside. His legs have fallen asleep and he's trying to nurse the feeling back into them without falling out of his perch when the front door opens again and the woman exits briskly. She pauses at the edge of the block, out of sight of the houses, and looks around before disappearing with a _crack_. He catches his breath.

Then the door flings open and Lily bursts out and runs toward him, and he half-climbs, half-falls out of the tree to reach the ground in time for her to tackle him in a hug and bury her face in his shoulder and squeeze him breathless. "I'm going to Hogwarts!" she says, and hugs him again, dancing in excitement. "I'm going with you!"

 **A/N**

Another short chapter...once the school year ends I will write longer ones, I promise!

As always, please review and tell me what you think! Thanks to everyone who has reviewed already!


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